People of The Jinx

Screen shot 2016-09-09 at 11.37.04 AMThe most commonly used tag on hissing lawns? “The Jinx”. Savannah’s only establishment that is dedicated pretty much full time to live music and related activities, The Jinx is, in a word, awesome. Absolutely no disrespect intended to other venues of any sort (hell, I think we need more venues), but let’s be honest, the old Velvet Elvis is the physical hub of much of the over 21 music scene in the Hostess City. An actual stage, a laid back vibe, a punching machine, $5 house special of a tall boy PBR and a shot of Wild Turkey, tv’s playing weird ass cult classics, Rock n Roll Bingo, crazy memorabilia, absurd knick knacks, everything just somehow adds up to cool.

The thing that really makes The Jinx so unique, though? The people. A mix of city/underbelly/music/alternative/arty/biker/godknowswhatelse people, on the best nights it feels communal, and on others, well….just weird. As a huge music nerd, I’ve spent my fair share of time at “SAVANNAH’S FAVORITE BOOZERY AND MUSIQUARIUM” interacting with both the community and the weirdos. Doing some quick math, I’d say I’ve been to 127 W Congress Street a little over 400 times, and drank in excess of 1500 tall boy PBR’s.

So, for no real reason at all, here’s a list (people like lists, right?) of 100ish types of people you may run into at a show, or bingo, or hip hop night, or a Damon and the Shitkickers happy hour, or, well, you get the idea.

1. Gil. “Savannah’s Most Crushworthy”, 49’ers fan, booker, ALL CAPS TYPER, general character, Gil manages a staff comprised entirely of oversized personalities.

2. Entirely too high guy.

3. Hardcore guy from another town. Sorry, Dude, we don’t really mosh like that here, but I’m sure you look cool at home.

4. Bros. Thankfully the vibe at The Jinx isn’t very Ed Hardy friendly and their stays tend to be short lived.

5. Bummed out chick. Engage at your own risk.

6. Stinky hippy. We’ve been over this, people. Basic hygiene, it’s a thing.

7. Bachelorette party. Because, of course, it’s SAV. Don’t worry, they’ll leave shortly after the music starts.

8. Texter.

9. Skateboard dude.

10. Out of town band fan. Respect. Also, will probably buy a bunch of merch.

11. Friends of the opening band. Yo, don’t be a dick and leave once your friend’s band has played.

12. Stage selfie taker. Back to stage, trying to get themselves and the band in frame. You kinda suck.

13. Photographers. Pros sometimes, hobbyists often, Iphone photographers ALWAYS.

14. Head banger/bobber. Cool, but long hair combined with overzealous banging can be dangerous/annoying to those in the immediate vicinity.

15. Girl in love with lead singer.

16. Merch guy. Caution, may be in dangerous need of a shower.

17. Couple where one really, really, doesn’t want to be there. Someone got dragged in, and they’re not going to let the other forget it.

18. Larry Jack. Wait, where did he go?

19. Guy in cowboy hat. Chances that it’s either Anders or Anderson? Like 98.7%, right?

20. Tripping guy. Hold it together, Brah, hold it together.

21. Crunchy entitled dudes/dudettes. Money to spend, but probably won’t because, you know, too baked and no microbrews on tap.

22. SCAD student. Backpack? Probably. Portfolio? Maybe. Money? Not so much.

23. Bitch about/try to negotiate cover charge asshole. You suck, buck up.

24. Trying to talk over the music group of friends.

25. Grimy/Impossibly cool looking touring band.

26. Local F+B workers who just got off their shift and need to catch up. Shots? Shots.

27. Vaping guy.

28. Member of locally based, but international touring act. Savannah’s cool that way.

29. Windmilling jerk. It is entirely possible to mosh hard without the whole crowd worrying about getting punched in the face. Try it.

30. Overwhelmed by volume people. Hands over ears, maybe look of pain on their face. Earplugs are sold at the bar, they’re like a buck.

31. White guy with dreads.

32. White girl with dreads. Weirder, somehow.

33. Random dude in a suit. What is going on here?

34. Music Nerd. Probably wearing a super obscure band/record label tee shirt. We do come out of our caves occasionally.

35. Bored musician. The whole band is jamming, and there’s one guy who looks like he would like to be pretty much anywhere but there. Weird.

36. Angry musician. Kinda the opposite of the bored musician, this guy is pissed at the rest of the band, the crowd, or possibly the world.

37. Ecstasy people. Man, I look great, this music is amazing, this fabric feels incredible….

38. Buy the band shots guy. Super cool, but could you wait until between songs to try to get the artists’ attention?

39. Savannah Sweet Tease girl. On stage or off, they add to the general awesomeness of the crowd.

40. Old guy/lady. Be nice, with any luck that may be you one day.

41. Drunken foreign person. I’m sorry, inebriated English guy in a tweed sport coat, I have no idea what you’re saying.

42. Hey! There’s Larry Jack again. And he’s seen like 4 other bands in the 30 minutes he was gone.

43. Ex local back in town.

44. Punk/metal starter kit person. Someone tentatively dipping their toe into the underground. Possibly trying too hard. Mohawk, Doc Martens that aren’t broken in yet.

45. Tony. Winner of Savannah’s Best Bartender multiple times, he may have skinned an enormous alligator earlier in the day before he punched a carburetor hole in the top of your ice cold PBR.

46. Parents of band member. Seriously, how fucking cool is that?

47. Super tall guy.

48. Birthday person. Happy Birthday! Enjoy that hangover tomorrow!

49. On the phone during the show jerk. You want to step outside or should we have the band be quiet for a few minutes?

50. Crust punks outside. I feel bad for the dog. Seriously.

51. Biker. Whoa! They have a Harley shop in Myrtle Beach/Daytona/Sturgis?

52. Local musician who played an earlier set around town, and is now at The Jinx to cheer on/screw with their friends who are currently playing.

53. So insanely good at their instrument that it’s hard to look away band member. Holy shit.

54. Crazy good looking band member. Also hard to look away from.

55. Military guy/girl. Hey, thanks.

56. Mystery farter. What did you eat? You should maybe think about seeing a doctor about that.

57. Singing every word person. We get it, you know the words.

58. Soundcheck stickler. For the love of all that is holy, just play already.

59. Super into the movie dude. Big Trouble in Little China, Six String Samurai, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Escape From New York, they play some amazing cult classics on the two sets over the bar. I once saw Dead Alive distract approximately half of the crowd.

60. Order overly complicated drink on a busy night idiot. Ugh.

61. Androgynous person.

62. The one guy in the entire world who wants to fight at a Mountain Goats show.

63. Backpack guy. I don’t know what’s in there, must be super important.

64. Run of the mill hipster.

65. Fresh tattoo guy/girl.

66. Guy whose defining feature is his beard. Man, I’ll be honest, I don’t know how you made it through the summer with that thing.

67. Old guy in Tommy Bahama. Hmmm, okay, whatever.

68. Local rock/entertainment rag/blog goons. Be nice to them.

69. Heh. “69”.

70. Poor guy that has no choice but to poop at The Jinx. Why is there a line to the men’s room? Oh, uh, sorry bro, that sucks.

71. Keys guy. Are you a locksmith? Custodian? Property manager, maybe?

72. Giant buff guy.

73. Ty Pennington. Seriously.

74. 80+ degree stocking cap guy. Holy shit, man, you are really committed to looking “cool”. I would literally melt.

75. Local F + B person who is literally only there to hit up what may be the last functioning cigarette machine on earth.

76. That one chick that really, really, really wants someone to dance with her. Actually overheard: “I’m a truck driver, and I’m only in town one night”. She definitely was looking for someone to dance with. Wow.

77. Stand in front of the bar door person. You know that spot between the water jug and the trash can at the bathroom end of the bar? Don’t stand there.

78. Reeks of weed guy. Yo, did you just have sex with a skunk?

79. Super hung over guy. Hope it was EPIC, dude.

80. We’ve got a baby sitter and look out, we’re getting drunk couple.

81. Fist pumper/devil horns thrower. Rock on, my friend, rock on.

83. Leaves before the headliner individual. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen this as widespread in another city. Weird.

84. Heckler. A rarity, thankfully. I do occasionally like to throw out a “Play something heavy!” most of the way through an insanely heavy set myself, though.

85. Ear piercing whistler person. At some point, this guy/gal realized they could whistle painfully loud, now they just wait for opportunities to prove it.

86. Fashion chick.

87. Lyrics faker. You’re singing out loud and uh, oh, I don’t know this part….

88. Barefoot person in the pit. Seems like a bad choice to me. I saw a girl do the “Worm” on the floor once, too. That’s definitely a bad choice.

89. Larry Jack. He’s back, there’s nothing else going on.

90. Local business person whose happy hour turned EPIC. Can turn into a liability late night.

91. Makeout couple, like really going at it. Everyone else is either grossed out or laughing, so, you know, get a room.

92. The audiophile. Yes, I hear the buzzing. Yeah, maybe the mix could be better, I guess. Maybe if we move to the center of the room…you know what, dude? I was enjoying this before talking to you.

93. High school band guy just happy to still be playing in a band. Almost all horn players in a ska band fall into this category.

94. Wearing the shirt of the band that is playing person. Props for the enthusiasm, I guess, but unless you bought that shirt at this show and don’t want to hold it, uhhh, faux pas.

95. The occasional crowd surfer.

Okay, show’s over, and unless Gil’s setting up Scaryoake, it’s pretty much time to go home. Pour your drink into one of those clear cups stacked by the door and get out. Don’t drink and drive, Uber’s cheap. Be safe. See you next time.

3 comments for “People of The Jinx

  1. Sage
    September 9, 2016 at 15:27

    #96: straight guy obsessed with stereotyping and labeling everyone around him. we get it. You’re bitter.

    • bill
      September 9, 2016 at 20:10

      Tom’s not bitter at all, actually.

    • Queezy
      September 11, 2016 at 10:23

      #97: Person with ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE OF HUMOR. Avoid at all costs.

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